APHRODISIAC
a poem by Robin Percyz + interview
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Robin (she/her) is a queer writer from New York. As a member of The Society for Menstrual Cycle Research, she presented her piece, “Boxing and Bleeding” at the 2011 conference with Gloria Steinem in attendance. She has been published in literary journals/magazines on The Poetry Society of New York, No Dear Magazine, Writerly Magazine (Paperbacks & Co), Same Faces Collective, and was a semi finalist winner in Tulip Tree Review’s “Wild Women” issue. Robin was a competitive amateur boxer for four years and now strives to help others feel visible through her work.
Interview with Robin…and breathless line breaks.
Maria: Robin! This poem opens with such a bold, immediate declaration of desire. What was happening in your life or writing practice that made you willing to lead with that level of honesty and intensity?
Robin: I wrote this poem after separating from my wife and exploring dating and intimacy after twelve years in a marriage. I experienced a ferocious sexual desire and met someone who immediately became a seductive muse for me in this way. I wondered, can I write an erotic poem without it being a container for a larger moral or political agenda than to simply be erotic? Of course! I can do whatever I want, I’m queer (*laughs in dyke*). My next thought was that queer sex is inherently political and radical so I wanted to embrace that. I wanted to undress queer sex in language that felt rich and elegant, metaphors associated with decadence and almost a Godless divinity. There’s also the stigma of women becoming sexless or less desirable once they hit 40 and I wanted to queer that narrative as well, in fact draw attention to the feral rebirth of sexuality at this time - at least for me.
Maria: The poem moves in one long rush of desire, almost breathless. How did you think about pacing and line breaks to keep that intensity without losing clarity?
Robin: Breathless is a great way to encapsulate the insatiable desire and hunger of this poem. I’m not so much of a form poet but this one compelled me to play with its body, as gender really is the pearl inside the poem. I wanted the form to visually represent fluidity in gender and the nuance of its expression - that it bends and (line) breaks. I hope the form helps pull the reader in this undulation and excitement in tasting something new. I wanted the line breaks to conjure the arousal sensation when driving downhill; the sensation of salacious desire before devouring dessert! Gender fluidity is one of the most evocatively beautiful elements of the human form. A trans-masc, nonbinary person is a literal, breathing poem to me and I wanted to explore that as a cisgender queer femme with privilege. A lot of my writing centers food as a metaphor for sex, particularly the restrict/binge cycle. So much of satisfaction is about the restriction or delay - the tension of waiting, be it food or sex - and a desire to devour. I hope the poem feels like sexual tension on steroids where the subject is about to ravage this delicious human after years of hunger.
Maria: Is poetry a daily practice for you? A yearly one? How do you write?
Robin: I write daily. Most of my poetry feels like a reflex - like an unbearably temperamental cough - that’s happening to me and not the other way around. My sexual desire certainly feels like a palpable reflex which is why it inspired the last year of daily writing. Eileen Myles has stated, “the poem says ‘I want’” and I have been wanting deeply in the last few years so it has propelled me into a fury of writing, but there are lulls when I’m struggling with mental health for sure. I usually write early in the morning or while I’m moving my body on a walk or exercising. This can be pages of nonsense, one great sentence, ten shitty ones, or just a word I’m inspired by. I never put pressure on myself to create or create something “great” whatever that is. I like to employ Pema Chodron’s theory that our thoughts are neither good nor bad, just thoughts. So, I write my thoughts. Sometimes they’re something I’m proud of and worthy of publishing and most times they’re not! Either way, writing is like breathing for me and I’m grateful to write anything.
Maria: I always ask this question because I find the answers so interesting. Many poets experience physical feelings when they read a good poem. Emily Dickinson famously said she feels like the top of her head is coming off. What physical sensations happen to you when you read or write a good poem?
Robin: I don’t observe any one particular sensation while writing. For me, it’s more of a high, an almost sexual experience where I’m beginning without method, rather visceral compulsion. I might start slow or simply tear into the writing if it’s that fiery and falling off my tongue. I’m inside the poem as one might be with a partner in an intimate moment. I’d like to pay closer attention to my body’s sensations while writing but a truly magnificent writing experience will compel me to be so present in the work that I don’t have access to my physical awareness. As someone who was a competitive athlete with an eating disorder and spent way too much time inside their mind/body connection, I’m eternally grateful that writing allows me to get away from myself in this way. Writing is the only thing to “break” that and I love that for me.
Maria: Lastly, we often speak of what poetry is. I’m curious what you think poetry isn’t.
Robin: I love this question but I’m not sure I have the agency to answer it. So I’ll ask you a question: what is poetry? I think poetry, or any art, is divisive by definition. Like gender, to try to define it is a limiting endeavor and, perhaps, even risk for “misgendering” its truth. Ultimately I don’t claim to possess enough knowledge on traditional lineages of poetry to adequately answer this objectively. Everything is poetry in this human experience - every single grain of it. So, tell me what isn’t part of this human experience and I will say it isn’t poetry!
Maria: Thank you so much for giving us the honour of publishing your work. Tell us where we can find you, say hi, and read more of your work!
Robin: Thank you so much for selecting my work and sharing it! I want to connect with other humans, poets, and writers! Please find me on Instagram @robinpercyz.
We’re open for submissions right now.
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Lots of love,
EIC and Founder of Gather
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This poem is so beautiful. And the line breaks?! I am in awe of the last two lines.